Entry #4, 28th July - Reno.


Joey

Time is ticking away at a pace that i'm struggling to keep up with. I can't believe how close we are now to actually leaving. I've had my entire life to prepare for this trip, but it has only been in within the last few weeks that the story has really begun to develop, grow and produce even more questions to be answered. It's funny how easy it is to go your entire life believing something – filling in the gaps yourself.

Whilst at my Mum's, I discovered a brand new (to me) chapter in Joey's life. Before moving to Seattle, he relocated to Reno, where he lived in a trailer. Again, I'm unsure on the exact specifics but I know that this was where he was in communication with my Mother for the longest period of time. From what she said, he was incredibly social here; partying a lot and mixing with probably-not-the-right-crowd. I hope that when I visit Reno, there is a good chance of finding someone who knew him.

My Mum showed me a collection of photographs that he sent her from this period. They showed him posing with rifles and beautiful, boxy, American cars up at Lake Tahoe. This again confused me a little as my view of him as my idea of him as an American hero clashes with his idea of himself as an American man. His poses are conquering and powerful; displaying himself as this American hunter archetype. I don't look negatively on this, as it is ingrained into a lot of American culture, but it is different to my own dreamings. As far as I can remember, I have always been against the use and possession of guns – I think I must have mirrored my own morals and ideals into him, painting Joey as the personification of what I believe in. It's a strange thing.